A lot of Autistic children experience high levels of Anxiety, I certainly did and so does my child, trying to find things that can help can be difficult though because what works for Neurotypical children does not necessarily work for Autistic children. Which kind of makes sense when you think that we are “wired differently” or have different brain types.
Over the years I have tried many different tools and stratagies to help with my mental health, and now I am trying to find them for my daughter. Anxiety can be a hard one to manage, because quite a lot of it is sensory related, CBT and Counselling does not work for that, and it makes sense that CBT never solved my anxiety completely.
But, now that I am aware of just how much sensory sensitivities trigger my anxiety, when it kicks off I ask myself if there are any sensory triggers, and if there are I try to remove myself from it. If I can’t remove the trigger, being aware that its there and what is triggering my anxiety, helps me to hold it together as I know I am not actually in danger. If there are to many sensory triggers that doesn’t always work and I become completely overwhelmed by it, but I no longer beat myself up over it.
Exercise
Exercise or activity helps to burn up the adrenaline released into the body when highly anxious or during panic. Even if its only for 15 – 20 minutes. Exercise or Activities that you can use are:
- Trampolining
- Star Jumps
- Running on the spot
- Walking
- Pacing
- Dancing
There are obviously lots more you can use, if your child is anything like mine, going for a walk is not something she likes doing. So star jumps, jumping on the spot, trampolining and dancing work just as well. They work as a distraction as well as good for burning up adrenaline.
Worry Time
Allow some time at the end of the day to discuss any worrys and come up with solutions for them if possible, if not, write them on a piece of paper. At the end of Worry Time get your child to rip them up and put them in a bin.
I find the action of ripping them up and putting them in the rubbish helps to let the worry go, at least for a while. My daughter and I are visual learners so watching the action does help. For your child you may want to use a Worry Monster, where you place it in its mouth, for you to dispose of later. My child is a bit older now and has gone past the Worry Monster stage.
Plan Worry Time for the same time each day, just the thought of having that time for later can help to reduce the worry during the day, because you know you have a set time to think about it or to discuss it.
3 Good Things
Towards the end of the day ask your child to tell you 3 good things that happened in their day, it can be something they have done, something that made them laugh or smile, something they had seen.
It might be easier for them if you do it as well and join in, maybe take it in turns to do each one. If 3 is to many, try and do 2. It might help to write them down so you can look back through them, but its not a necessity. By talking about it and doing it, it does become easier to find 3 things.
Let The Thought Go
Find ways that involve letting thoughts or worries go. Its not always easy because of the way the autistic brain works.
Autistic people have an analytical brain, its great for learning and when we are focusing on a hobby or interest. But, when you are stuck in a negative cycle of thought, or focusing on a conversation you have just had and whether you made any social mistakes, it can lead to low mood or even depression. That cycle of thought can last for days, weeks or months where we keep going back to it. Because of this, CBT (where you focus on and challenge the thought) doesn’t always help, it involves focusing on the thought when really you want to accept it and then let it go to break that cycle.
Learning to break that cycle is important so it doesn’t impact on their mental health, its also exhausting.
There are other autistic thinking traits that can predispose us to mental health problems.
Writing things down in a journal can be beneficial, or writting it on paper and ripping it up.
Another way is to use distraction, focus the mind on something else each time it returns to the negative fault. It takes time and practice to eventually become a habit. One I am still working on myself.
Teach Self-care Activities
Learning self-care activities is vital, they help to recharge the social battery and can prevent Social Hangover and Autistic Burnout out.
If there are a lot of activities which involve socialising and going out the house, schedule in some Recovery Time. Time spent at home, doing there own thing; for me, it involves time spent alone, which is a rare occurance. I will often go for a walk in the woods to be alone and to be with nature, practicing photography.
Obviously a child can not be completely alone, but time doing their own thing with little interaction is beneficial for some.
If there are some self-care activities you can do together it can make it fun, for example have a pamper day with a foot spar and facial, even paint your nails.
Another one we enjoy is a DVD/Film day, where we watch some of our favourite films with popcorn and chocolate.
Self-care activities can include:
- A Bubble Bath or Bath Bomb Bath
- Reading
- Pamper Day
- Dvd Day
- Exercise
- Baking or Cooking
- Healthy Eating
- Recovery Time
- A make over
Screentime
Screentime can be important for Autistic Children, especially after being social or a day at school. They need some chill time, some time to be themselves, and being online gives them the opportunity to do that. Not having to think too much and gives them something to focus on.
Use Their Imagination
Some Autistic people have very colourful and vivid imaginations, which can work against them mental health wise as they can imagine every possible outcome for an event or situation in a heartbeat, but tend to focus on worstead scenarios.
But, when used for something positive it can be beneficial. For instance, guided meditations, Guided Breathing exercises, visualisations, and creating stories. I have had guided meditations before, I was able to create the scene that was described in my mind in great detail, it was so vivid that it felt like I was there. It helped to direct my thoughts away from anxiety and worry.
With my daughter, we have made up stories together, some very silly and fun ones. It works as a distraction, and sometimes it helps to calm her enough to fall to sleep. It doesn’t always work though if her anxiety is really high. So it is an idea to have many different tools (activities) to try.
Plan The Day
Write out a Planner or Schedule each day together, depending on age, otherwise you could write it for your child. Knowing a set routine and where you are meant to be helps to reduce the amount of anxiety your Autistic child is experiencing each day.
If there is a change and it if possible give plenty of warning for it. A sudden change creates so much anxiety because we haven’t been able to prepare for it.
A lot of autistic people plan what they are going to say before saying it, autistic children are no different, it minimises mistakes and saying stupid things. Which we fear greatly because we are so aware of a social differences and difficulties.
If you want your child to do something or you want to go somewhere, try not to just drop it on them, give at least a few days warning if possible so they can prepare themselves for it.
I know its not always possible to prevent change or unexpected events, it just increases anxiety and uncertainty, and to many changes happening in one day or week can be overwhelming.
Autism Parenting 